Financial education is a life-long process and couples who are like-minded when it comes to the importance of growth – both personal and professional – have an edge in taking their relationship to the next level. Our success in achieving the goals we set for ourselves is dependent upon many factors. Some of them we can’t control. But many we can.
The commitment to becoming financially free requires more than simply beginning the journey. A key component to success on your journey – and maximizing the exhilaration of the ride – revolves around your traveling companion.
A partner who is like-minded and with whom you share common goals and values can be one of your biggest assets. Likewise, a partner who is NOT committed to the same level of growth can hold you down, pull you back – ultimately keep you from reaching your goals.
It should not be surprising to learn that Robert makes no bones about the importance of being on the ‘same page’ as your partner. In fact, I might go as far as to say that in addition to alignment on the ‘page’ you’d be well served to be in tune on ‘chapter’ and ‘verse’ as well. In his own words: “If your partner is not 100% behind you, you have 0% chance of manifesting your full potential.” How’s that for definitive.
Please know that I use the term ‘partner’ loosely. It could be your spouse, your SO (“significant other”), or even a business partner. The same principles apply in every case.
Who are You Spending Time With?
Have you ever heard the comment, “Tell me who your friends are… and I’ll tell you where you’re going?” I’ve always believed that we’re judged, in large part, by the company we keep. And it’s our choice (one of those controllable factors!) when it comes to how we spend our time – and with whom.
Robert’s variation on that theme goes something like this: “Who are the six people you spend the most time with?” I’ll never forget the first time I heard him ask a group that question. The names of friends, and family, came to mind immediately. But so did the names of friends who (though still ‘friends’…) we were spending less and less time with. For the first time, I realized why.
Without a conscious effort we had, over the past five years, shifted our circle of closest friends to those with whom we had the most in common, certainly, but also to those who pushed us to the limits of our comfort zones – and beyond. Those who refused to be complacent and comfortable and who challenged those around them to ‘step up’… or get out of the way.
Those were the kinds of friends we tried to be and we found two things were happening: We were attracting like-minded people with common goals and spending less time with those who preferred to simply tread water.
I remember thinking that if our circle of friends could so directly and powerfully influence our success in the journey to financial freedom, how critical it was for one’s partner to be on the same wave length when it came to vision for the future and a commitment to life-long learning.
Games Reflect True Behavior
I remember the good-natured laughter when I heard Robert coach a young couple to “play the CASHFLOW game together” before they decided to get engaged to be married. “Don’t you want to see the way he manages his finances?” he asked the young woman. “If he’s a wimp or a miser – you may change your mind about beginning a life together!” (Please note that the same is true for men who can observe the behavior of a would-be life partner!)
Because games reflect true behavior, playing the CASHFLOW game as part of the courting process isn’t such a bad idea. You can learn a lot about someone from the way they play games – especially CASHFLOW. Each turn showcases how we handle money, adversity, challenges and investment opportunities. How are people reacting to the aspects of life that are beyond their control? What choices are they making?
In a segment on ‘Money and Marriage,’ ABC News reported: “A lot of folks fight over money, and that can destroy a marriage in a hurry. A study conducted by The Journal of Socio-Economics shows that couples fought a lot less about religion, alcohol, and other women, than they did over money.”
In regards to couples disputing over finances, MSN Money quotes Olivia Mellan, a therapist who specializes in helping people with money problems, as saying, “It’s always what the money represents: dependency, control, freedom, security, pleasure, self worth.”
Choose Your ‘Investments’
We can invest time and energy with our partner to determine the best plan for growing and learning together – for staying in synch on your vision for the future. But know that even though this may “make sense,” it isn’t always easy. This can be especially true when you’re forced to face the brutal facts about ‘where you are’ financially and the realities of what it will take to make lasting change a reality.
Working toward a shared vision for the future and supporting each other through the rough spots that are sure to develop is a great first step. Being realistic is critical. Very likely, it took you a considerable amount time to get where you are and things don’t – won’t – change overnight.
Set ambitious but attainable goals for yourselves and benchmarks along the way. This will help in gauging your progress and give you “wins” to celebrate together.
There’s nothing more exhilarating and empowering – and satisfying – than knowing you have a partner you can count on to support your joint decisions, challenge you to be the best you can be, and share the struggles that will give you strength to be the companion who makes every celebration of every success that much sweeter.
Togetherness…
One young couple in their early thirties drove from Tucson to Phoenix each week for the class and began to look forward to the two-hour drive because it gave them time to talk about what they had learned and how they would use that knowledge to reach their goals.
With so many “unknowns” on the financial horizon, it makes sense to create a proactive plan for taking a firm rein on those aspects of life that we CAN control. A partner with whom you share an excitement for learning and personal growth is an important aspect of life that IS within your control.
Life’s about choices: partners, friends, education – even ‘deals.’ Make 2007 your year to choose well.
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